You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
