is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
