no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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