Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
