I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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