I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
my penis made a compromise with my morals
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize