You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
