Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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