i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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