We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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