You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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