He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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