Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
