dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
