why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
