How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
