she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
