OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
