Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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