if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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