Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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