You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
