I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
