...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
