no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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