Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
