Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
