I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
