i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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