I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
