please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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