i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
