Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
