he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I had to cum in my sink.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
