I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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