What did we do last night that was yellow?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize