never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
