Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The beer is more important than you right now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
