no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
