The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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