so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
