when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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