I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
