Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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