This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
