it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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