she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
