Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
