what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
