It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
