the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize