Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
