I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
last night I used snow as a chaser
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize