Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
