Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
