The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
