I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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