i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
