I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
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She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
