The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
