love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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