with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
