I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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