Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
