Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
bring money and cleavage
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
