But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
