definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
