I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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