you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think i have two assholes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
