I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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