He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
