I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
