Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
