Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
