I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
