we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So apparently I’m into choking now
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