I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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