Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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