Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
