also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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